Over the last couple weeks, I have had the opportunity to attend two interesting workshops/trainings. The first was held by Mrs/Ms. Vicki Stapleton, who has worked with the Cara Program, called "Understanding Your Communication Style" while the other was put on by the Wright Institute and called "Boosting Your Social and Emotional Intelligence." Both dealt with ways of looking at yourself to enhance interpersonal communication. This first part will focus on the topic of "Understanding Your Communication Style"
Mrs./Ms. Stapleton brought up many important points about communication. Things important to consider when dealing with first impressions: "What you show me is what I give you." Basically, how you enter a room, the way you sound when you talk, and how you appear to be all impacts the way others will respond to you. People are naturally inclined to be social and part of being social entails understanding how others are feeling. If you walk into a room feeling self-conscious and unenthusiastic, the interactions you have with others will very likely end up being in more of the negative spectrum or will at least be unpleasant. Also, when interacting with others it is important to be sincere and authentic. If you are not true to yourself, how can you represent yourself positively to others?
A few ideas mentioned in the communications training, stuck with me. The first, "If you don't want this for yourself, you will not be happy in life." This idea is in line with intrinsic motivation. One must be personally invested in what they are doing in order to find value in it. I can think of a few jobs that I talked myself into liking initially ("It will helping me improve my counseling skills." or "I love music and other entertainment subjects so I will like this job") that I grew to dislike in the long run. I just wasn't personally invested in them. One particular job at a call center would make me unhappy and cause me to feel physically ill when I went. As Ms./Mrs. Stapleton mentioned, we have to learn when it is okay to leave. There are other options out there in life. If you quit a job, eventually you will find another.
Another idea that stood out was that your personal and professional life go hand in hand. This is very different than what my counseling training has said. So often in graduate school, professors and other staff would emphasize the importance of separating your work life from your home life. I guess in a helping profession like that you have to teach yourself to separate as a way to keep your head as clear as possible. However, being human means realizing we are not perfect. No matter how hard we try, sometimes your personal life creeps into your working life and vice versa. In counseling this is referred to as transference and counter-transference. There are just some people or situations in life that will remind you of someone you know or a situation in your own life. It will also evoke strong emotions. It is important to know yourself enough to recognize when this happens so you can work through it. Also, in order to have a well rounded life, one must be balanced. You must find peace with the ups and downs of life and embrace them for what they are. Mistakes and problems are opportunities to grow. Without them, we would all be stagnant. Ms./Mrs. Stapleton also mentioned that people you interact with in your job are like a second family. You will be impacted by them on a day to day basis whether you are close with them or not. It is important to choose your job carefully to ensure that they are a family you want to be around or a part of.
I have to say that the training with Ms./Mrs. Stapleton was very thought provoking. She brought up a lot of key ideas which are very important to consider throughout our day to day lives. I can only hope that this year does provide me with the opportunity to really analyze who I am more fully and what direction I want to go in. I also hope it allows others to reflect on themselves and think about what direction they are headed too.
Final Food for thought (via Ms./Mrs. Stapleton): Think about the mask(s) you wear....
Next post: Communication, what is that? Part 2.
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